The Inner Sanctum

Intelligence is the ability to adapt to change. ” - Stephen Hawking

"Ace, my pet. You are doing so well. You haven't begged ONCE today for relief. Now, that may have something to do with the gag, but... He he he. Aw, don't think those puppy dog eyes of yours are going to get you anywhere. You know this is for the best. Besides, I can't seem to remember where I put the key for your cage. Don't worry, I'm sure it's around here somewhere.

I just spoke with my lawyer and he says the paperwork is all in order. As of today, the cookie factory, mansion, and your collection of sports cars belong to me. I got the custom "BOSS" plates for the corvette you bought me, and I can't wait to take it out for a spin! But before I do, there are a few things we need to discuss.

You see, my little stroker pet, I'm not into making cookies right now. So I've decided to convert the operations over to something near and dear to my heart. That's right, the Cookie Factory is now the Kinky Factory... and that second factory I 'persuaded' you to build in the back of the complex? That's going to be my new Sissy Factory. Can you imagine? I can't wait for the first clients to show up so I can provide them with the guidance they need.

Aw, don't struggle so, my pet. You'll hurt yourself. I'll untie you from that chair when the time is right. And there is one more thing to take care of first. I know you're wondering why I had you build this Cookie Beam 3000... Like a good little slave, you paid for it without question. And I'm so proud of you for that. But the truth is, it's not for cookies... It's for your lovely Mistress.

Things are changing now, and I think it's time I take myself to the next level....

Stop squirming, sweetie. I know how excited you must be as I stand here disrobing, but that cock cage isn't going to budge... You might as well take some deep breaths.

Now, I've put the 'activate' in your hand... I'm going to sit on the table underneath the Cookie Beam, and when I say so, you need to push the button and transform me into my new, improved self. And if you don't do it exactly when I say so, you can bet I'll have a lot harder time remembering where I put that key.

Take one last look, things are about to get a whole lot crazier and sexier, my pet. Now, on the count of three, push the button.





Company Information Leaked!


The Man Slave Network Broadcast Company has recently obtained this document, which was leaked by a former employee of Ace Cookies. The elf, referred to here as "Sprinkles," delivered the letter to our newsroom minutes after being dismissed from his job. Stay tuned for more as the story unfolds.

Mansion Construction

The Cocks News Network interrupts coverage of Bear Butcher: The Princess Grace Trial to bring you breaking news from nearby Ace Mansion.

Since last week's rumored appearance by the mysterious WonderAce, many have speculated that (A) WonderAce has killer gams and (B) that there may be some connection between the lasso lady and Ace Papadopolis (known more commonly as Ace Strokes, the founder of Ace Cookies and Fine Confections.)

Attempts to question Mr. Strokes have revealed a startling story... The cookie factory, once buzzing with sugary smoke stacks and the pitter patter of indentured servant elf feet, is changing. A sign on the front gate reads, "Ace Cookies is Under Renovation. Please pardon our dust." Near the far South end of the compound, girders and scaffolding have begun to pop up. Several construction personnel have been spotted unloading what appears to be a pink corvette into the garage. At night, neighbors swear they can hear the desperate howls of a forlorn and frustrated predatory cat. (The neighbors have very finely tuned hearing.)

Company spokesman and evil doppleganger Bugsy "Not-Ace" Francisco delivered a brief, yet cryptic message to the press just moments ago. "Da cookie factory ain't finished. Dey's jus makin' some, er... improvements to da technology." Then, a team of lawyers arrived, caught Not-Ace's eye, and he finished the press conference with a brief, "Now amscray."

As the legal team disappeared into the catacombs of the complex, reporters were left confused and curious. Is there something insidious developing behind the iron bars of Ace Mansion? Has the cookie maven and bdsm enthusiast finally snapped? Will 300 elves have to file for unemployment? CNN is committed to bringing you up to the date information, so please stay tuned.