Hide and go seek

The next time Brad came over to stay the night, we got a little more frisky. We played hide and seek in our basement with some of the other neighbor kids. We had all the lights out so it was pitch black. Brad and I kept managing to hide in the same spot. None of the others figured that out. The game was you had to find the first person your could and then they would give you 60 seconds to go hide and they had to start the search over.

Brad and I had predetermined several hiding spots so when someone would stumble onto our spot, one of us would get "caught" without anyone realizing we were both there and then we would meet up again in the next hiding spot after we found one of the other kids. This went on for 3 hours or so.

It started out with heavy petting and groping... then as the night went on we would unzip and play a little... then suck a little... and then toward the end of the night, we started were cramped in this tight spot and someone was getting closer to finding us. They were right on top of us and we could barely make their silhouette our in the blinking VCR clock light. We crammed ourselves tighter into the corner next to the couch. There was a cough across the room and then we were in the clear. The way we were situated, we were face to face, literally. As though we had planned it, our lips met and we kissed ... just a peck.

Then later on, we got onto the couch when the other kid had gone into the next room to look for someone and we kissed some more. Before I knew it, our lips had parted and we were both engaged in our first french kiss with another boy... his first altogether. It was different from kissing a girl. It's hard to explain and much of it may have been in my head but it was very different. Weird different, at first. Then ok different. Then I want to keep going different. Ultimately, Brad decided he wanted to pull back on that and stick to other things. It was really intimate and I don't think either of us were in the mindset of having feelings for another guy. Somehow, feelings made you gay in our heads but all of the other things we were doing didn't quite register the same way. Before the night was over, we kissed again, but then that was it. It was the one night and I have not since kissed another guy. He was my one and only... and yes, there were some feelings there.

My first "boyfriend"

I didn't really have a lot going on after Brandy. A couple of short lived middle school girlfriends. Then in eighth grade, I met a guy named Brad. If there was a guy I had any kind of real thing with, it was Brad. By now, I was a little more ... ok with what was going on. I had had time to reflect on the previous experiences and was just starting to get comfortable with it being part of who I am.

He had transferred in from another school and didn't seem to be making friends very easily, but he and I hit it off. He would come over to the house and we would walk the streets late at night with my brother and the other neighbor kids... generally causing trouble. Anyway, as we were walking, his hand sort of brushed against my leg a couple times. He was staying the night and when we got home, everyone was asleep.

He was laying next to me in my bed (yeah... didn't think anything of it at the time lol). We were talking and somehow the topic turned to girlfriends and then sex. Neither of us had ever been with a girl. I let my hand brush against his leg for just a second. We talked some more and I felt his hand brush my leg. We talked some more and I just came out with it and asked him if her ever thought he could have a relationship with another guy. His immediate response was "with you".

About three seconds later, my hand was on his crotch. He was hard as a rock. An instant later, his hand was on mine and we were rubbing each other. We both kept rubbing until we came in our pajamas pants. We fell asleep shortly after. Neither of us even bothered to change our pants.

Looking back, it was pretty risky because there was no door on my bedroom and my bed was right next to the door. My parent's room was only a few feet away but they always kept their door closed.

Brandy... My first real girlfriend.... my first kiss.

I was in sixth grade and found myself with a crush on a girl named Amanda. She was a friend of a friend and well out of my league, but I would go to her soft ball games down at the little league park and talk to her after the game. I asked her many times to go out and she always politely declined. One day, I wound up meeting up with her at a house where she was babysitting. She was content to be friends and invited me to stop by.

When I got there, I met her cousin, Brandy who was 2 years younger than me but was held back in first grade so she was in fourth grade. I thought she was really cute. I got her phone number and we talked several times and before long, she was my girlfriend. Amanda was surprised that I had given up on her and told me she was actually thinking about saying yes to me. Oh well.

Fast forward, I walked over to Amanda's house one day to see Brandy (she lived on the other side of town so I only got to see her when she visited her cousin). We talked out in her back yard and when it came time to say goodbye, we decided we both wanted to kiss... it was our first frech kiss, for either of us. Of course, we didn't really know what we were doing at all and as kisses go, we were probably terrible at it lol but at the time, it was amazing. I walked home feeling giddy and light headed. I loved her as much as an 11 year old could. Unfortunately, we later broke up after she found out I was also seeing a friend of hers named Alicia. I never even kissed the girl or did anything more than talk on the phone. It was just one of those silly "will you go with me" things that kids do. I felt terrible and sometimes, I still think about Brandy and that kiss. Yeah.... I messed that one up. I missed her terribly.

barbie-on-barbie action

The cock has a big (sometimes very big) place in straight hardcore porn, even for consumers that might otherwise be homophobic. But there is also an entirely penis-free genre of explicit pornography conceived and produced for the hetero male: “Lesbian Porn.”

A misnomer, of course.

It’s impossible to say that *no* actual lesbians enjoy watching impoverished Czech girls lick one another’s assholes for money. Nor can one be sure that *none* of the impoverished Czech girls concerned get off on sex with other women. But on the whole, typical girl-on-girl porn (skinny barbies in high-heels, make-up, and lingerie; stuffing colorful toys up one another and pouting, etc.) is made by and for straight men.

Part of this is easy to explain: It’s fun to watch other people get naked and be sexual, whatever the genders and permutations. And sadly most straight male consumers don’t care what the on-screen talent actually wants in love or in life. But girl/girl porn, for certain men, has a special appeal. I suspect there are multiple, distinct, and overlapping reasons for this.

Girls going at it, as a subject, provides an emotional safety to the voyeur who wants to watch people have sex, but who would be freaked out by the presence of a naked man. Homophobia is probably part of it. But it is no doubt also due to insecurities not related to orientation. In other words, it may be better for some hard-core porn to be entirely voyeuristic, with no one on camera with whom the viewer can identify, compare himself, or mentally compete.

More benign is the simple fact that, to us more-or-less straight guys, women are just so darn pretty to look at. A tangle of female limbs... all that womanly flesh... a confusion of yummy mucus membranes. It is awfully nice. For this reason, much multiple-girl porn doesn’t really make any pretense that the women are pleasing another sexually; their various embraces and writhings are plainly just a composition of a basically hetero-erotic nature: female bodies and a male gaze. I personally can appreciate the erotic charge of a big hard cock, on its own or in the process of pressing into some lovely orifice. But there is a special energy to the female body, to its aesthetics. This is subjective of course, and I take it to be the very definition of male heterosexuality. Obviously, I am no homophobe... but female skin! A female bottom! Two female bottoms! It’s undeniably special.

As an extension of this: There are certain sexual activities that I love to both *do* and love to *watch*. I love putting my penis in a woman’s mouth, *and* I love watching another man put his penis in a woman’s mouth. But while I enjoy licking vaginas, assholes, and toes, I don’t get very much pleasure seeing a man doing these things. On the other hand, watching girls suck one another’s vaginas, toes, bottoms... Yes, I do enjoy that. As much as I find *cocks* attractive, and female *assholes* attractive... I find a man’s bristly jaw in the foreground of an analingus shot less so. I hope and sincerely believe that this is not residual homophobia, but I admit that I cannot be entirely sure. All I can say is this: That same bristly-jawed man is (under the right circumstances) welcome--encouraged even--to jerk off onto my face. But I don’t want to see pictures of men coming on one another’s faces. I don’t find it repulsive, just not very interesting... like watching a fetishist have sex with a pair of cotton underpants. It’s not gross; it’s just... I dunno... boring.

In conclusion... uh, I’m not sure I have a conclusion. I guess 1) I hope that those men who choose girl-girl porn because of homophobic fear can get past that. The anxiety-generating charge on the penis for them might transform, into something they can enjoy rather than fear. And 2) I wish we could find something else to call multiple-women porn other than “Lesbian porn,” which is just a stupid name for it.

Fake Tits

Can we please agree that fake tits are just awful awful awful? I don’t mean this as an expression of male guilt, of socially-conscious solidarity with women concerned about body image, objectification, etc. I don’t say this to prove my PC sensitive-guy bona-fides. I say this as a cock-in-hand porn consumer who finds the pneumatic breasts on skinny, studio-tanned, porn-stars to be sad, unattractive, erection-deflating, creepy, unnecessary. Please stop. Flat chests are fine. I can love flat chested girls. I can masturbate to pictures of flat-chested girls. Big mooshy breasts are fine too. Large perky breasts are great, when they are naturally so. But please, young women: Don’t think that anyone deserving of your attention likes those fake rigid unfeeling hemispheres packed under that taut skin. And I won’t even discuss the monstrous distended beachball-boobs, for which the surgeons should go in chains to re-education camps.

Maybe fake-tit revulsion does have a political component, even for me. I like to believe, or at least pretend, that the porn-people on camera are happy to be there, enjoying the sex and enjoying being watched. Hence my preference for amateur (or amateur-looking) porn. But part of enjoying sex means being comfortable with The Body in general, and one’s own body in particular. Anorexia and cosmetic surgery suggest, to me, a high likelihood of neurotic body-image problems. The impulse within such a woman to be a porn actress may not come from libido or exhibitionism, but from a confused impulse to win attention by effacing her own true nature, giving her body sexually to others in various ways.

In brief: I have a hard time imagining that a skinny, fake-tan, fake-tit, no-body-hair, porn-starlet is actually getting off, at all, on the sexual experience of being naked on camera, but is rather losing a battle with body-insecurity, in a very public place.

Obviously this does not apply to re-constructive surgery... although that too should be entirely optional.

Wherever it comes from, it’s a buzz-kill: Please stop with the bad fake tits.

Cumshot Video Compilation #2

Here is my 2nd installment of a collection of my videos. There are 22 shots in all so enjoy and thank you for continuing to enjoy my work so that it inspires me to do more. Video Link Below.


I will also be taking a few weeks break from posting, but I will come back with plenty of great content when I return.

Vanessa Hudgens

Vanessa has some of the poutiest lips around and they are definitely begging for cum, so I obliged. Video link below.

Scarlett Johansson Sperminated

Scarlett got completely soaked here, my camera didn't want to cooperate, but enjoy anyways! Video link below.