So billy bear is now claiming he actually owns the cloud car he's been flaunting me with, and I was reasonably sure he had actually just paid some homeless guy to take a picture of him standing next to it. His obviously doctored photo proving otherwise didn't help his case either. (See below.)
We have a saying over at ace mansion. "If you eat all the cookies leave a note." And we have another saying, which might be more appropriate here, which is "The truth with set you free." This brave homeless Care Bear has stepped forward to set the record straight. Here follows the interview he granted me. For the purposes of anonymity, we will call him not-ace:
ace: Thank you for your help. I'm sure there are at least five or six people that want to get this whole situation sorted out.
not-ace: Glad ta help.
ace: How do you figure into this story?
not-ace: I was the homeless guy who took da picture.
ace: You are referring to the picture of billy standing next to "Princess" in the cloud car?
not-ace: Dat's right.
ace: How did you come to take the picture?
not-ace: Well, dis billy guy comes up to me and hands me dis camera and sez to me... "Hey, homeless dude..." (He likes to use da word 'dude' a lot) "Hey, homeless dude, there's this dude I know who just got a tiger painted Lotus. And, duuude! It's sweet!"
ace: And you were all like...?
not-ace: Yeah, I was all like, what da hell? I don't care. And den he sez, "I'm gonna go stand next to that cloud car with my, er, girlfriend. I'll give you three dollars to take a picture."
ace: So then what happened?
not-ace: Well, he went over to da car and, um... can I say inflated on TV?
ace: Yes, but this isn't TV.
not-ace: He inflated his, uh... girlfriend and set her in da car. And I asked if he was gonna sit next to her and he sez no, because he'll activate da car alarm.
not-ace. Nope. Not even a little. But den I looks down and I realize it ain't no camera, it's a ViewMaster. And dere was a reel in it.
ace: Oh, I see. What was on the reel?
not-ace: Looked like Hello Kitty. Some guys got a thing for dat, I know. So I tells him I can't take a picture with a ViewMaster. He sez some swears, den runs over to da drug store across da street to buy a disposable camera.
ace: So, long story short, he paid you to take a photo of him standing in front of someone else's car.
not-ace: Sure, why not. Den he ran off and didn't even pay me da three dollars. At least I got a ViewMaster out of it.
ace: Thank you for sharing your rivetting story with us. Now, to wrap up, I would like to verify that you are in fact a homeless Care Bear and not a hastily cloned and transmogrified version of myself.
not-ace: Dat's right. How would a homeless guy like me, who is one, ever pay for some sort of cloning/transmogrifying process? Whaddaya think I am? Some sort of rich guy who lives in a mansion and drives a Tiger Lotus? I am not-ace, not ace.
ace: That's good enough for me!
not-ace: Well, you're da one dat wrote it.
ace: Idiot! How do you turn this recorder off? Argh!!!!
END OF INTERVIEW
I think that puts this controversy to bed. Have a nice day everyone!