Spaghetti Shoebox Fuck

Oh tell me you haven't heard of the spaghetti shoebox fuck?

I mean I thought everyone had tried it at least twice...

I was about 21 when I first started talking naughty on the phone. I was on a call with a man who wasn't saying much, and I asked what he was doing over there, on the other side of the line.

He says: "Well...I have a shoebox full of spaghetti and I am fucking it."

I didn't get it. I was only 21, and an innocent 21 at that (despite the fact that now - then/now - I was an innocent 21 year old fledgling phone sex operator.)

So I asked him to explain what the hell he was talking about.

He said: "Well, I took a shoebox, cut a hole in the end of it..."

Now the picture was becoming clearer...

"And then I cooked up a box of spaghetti, drained it, dumped it in the shoebox, let it cool down..."

Please note: don't fuck a scolding hot box of spaghetti. "Must let spaghetti cool down." Add that to your spaghetti fuck instructions, please.

"And now I am sliding my dick in and out of the hole. Feels good!"

Mmmmm pasta.

Later that week, I told my mom about the spaghetti fuck, while we were driving in the car together. She seemed like she was listening. When I was done telling her the story, she said:

"Oh wow, look at that house over there, it's STILL for sale!"

There are things you can tell moms, and then things you can't. Evidently, they don't mind if you are a phone sex operator, but they don't want to hear about spaghetti shoebox fucks.

Make a note of that.

The World's Only Spaghetti Shoebox Fuck Masturbatrix