Masturbation Balance

I was chatting with one of the women I work with last night, and she mentioned she'd read my blog. She said, "I'm glad my boyfriend isn't totally into masturbation. I'd worry that he'd eventually be unable to have 'normal' sex."

Richard from Peter Files had touched upon this as well, when we chatted online during his interview the other night. He says, he can maintain an erection strong enough for masturbation, but not for intercourse (read the Peter Files Interview, if you missed yesterday's post...)

I'll admit: I have an attraction to compulsion, in others, to that sexy and scary and powerful, out-of-control state of mind that comes along with the territory, when dealing with anything that can become too pleasurable. That state of mind produces such a strong energy - perhaps a frenetic and mostly useless energy, useless if it's not harnessed and directed and controlled.

Masturbation is also so much EASIER than sex with a partner. Quicker, less complicated, less involved. Less fulfilling? Well that's up to the individual to decide. But the simplicity and self-indulgence CAN become addictive, and the masturbator who wants a well-rounded, full sex life, should take care not to become an exclusive masturbator, incapable of enjoying a sex act that involves another.

From a distance, I can take pleasure in the compulsiveness of your chronic masturbation. But closer to home, when dealing with my own sexual partner, would I prefer that he become a compulsive masturbator, to the exclusion of a sex life with me?

Noooooooooo way!!

So, in as much as your chronic masturbation is a part of who you are, I will enjoy it, and encourage it, and write about it and give you a place to feel "okay" about it.

But if you come to me one on one, seeking advice or an ear (and if you ask for an ear I will inevitably give you advice, I can't help it, I'm opinionated), and you are part of a couple, I will tell you that it is *very* important that your sexuality not be engulfed by your masturbatory activities.

If masturbation is truly your sexual activity of choice, see if you can find a way to pleasurably involve others. Do you like to be watched? Do you enjoy phone sex? In my assessment, anything you can do to involve a second (or third or fourth) in your sexual activities, will ward off the possibility that you will eventually evolve into a person who can enjoy sex ONLY with themselves, and by themselves.

And penises were meant for sharing, guys.

The Masturbatrix